Two muffins get put in the oven. One muffin turns to the other and says, "Man, it's hot in here." The other one says, "AAAAHHHH! A TALKING MUFFIN!"
A mom goes shopping and leaves the dad to watch TV and the kid to play "tea" with her plastic tea set. While she's gone, the kid brings "tea" to the dad, who thinks it's adorable. Finally, when the mom gets home, the dad shows her what their kid has been doing all afternoon. She says, "Didn't you realize that the only place she can reach is the toilet bowl?"